Well, GatorMan and I are free of communicable diseases! Thank goodness - we were worried. (whatever....)
The health screening part of the homestudy is now done. Fingerprinting done. Criminal background checks done. Recommendations should be arriving at the attorney's office. All that's left is for the social worker meet us in person, meet our animals, check our house, probably snoop in our cupboards, and finally give us her blessing. Our social worker who graduated from school two years after I was born. The social worker who addresses me as Mrs. GatorMan - she does not address me by MY first name.... oh no, I am "Mrs. GatorMan". (Don't get me wrong, I love being Mrs. GatorMan, but I have my OWN name, and I am identified by that, not by who my husband is.) Yeah, she and I are going to get along just swell, I can already see it.
I have to admit something to my blog friends - I've been keeping a secret. I wanted to talk about it sooner, but honestly I was so sick of talking about it and then it not coming to fruition that I put it off. It still is not "definite" but it's almost definite...
No, I'm not pregnant. As katd so eloquently stated: "Adoption is not a fertility treatment."
We are under contract for a new house. Yes - you read correctly - our townhome is under contract, and we are under contract for a new house! Well, a "nused" house - new to us, but "used" previously by other families! We hope to close in a couple of weeks so keep your fingers crossed that all goes well! I'll keep you all updated.....
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Homestudy....
So, we are in the middle of a homestudy that we did not think we were going to have to do. Long story, but we are in the middle of it.
Part of the homestudy is for our primary care physicians to "sign off" on our health indicating that we are in fact healthy people - mentally and physically. GatorMan and I have different primary care docs, even though they are in the same practice. GatorMan's doc is pretty laid back and easygoing. Her answers to the questionnaire were basically "yes" and "no." My doc, on the other hand, is super detailed. She called last week and indicated that my file did not reflect that I had had a TB test in the last year, nor could she tell if I had a tetanus/pertussis (sp?) shot in the last ten years. She wanted me to do this before she filled out the questionnaire. And no, the questionnaire does NOT indicate that I need these shots/tests.
Today was the appointment for the shot/test. I go in, and the nurse explains that she is going to give me the shot first. After the shot, she gives me the TB test - which stung by the way. I'd rather jab myself in the stomach with another foll.istim pen than do this test again. After the nurse finished, she went to talk to the doc about a question I had asked. Doc was right outside of the exam room door, and I heard the entire conversation. Apparently Doc had indicated that she wanted the TB test done FIRST.... then the shot. Nurse did it backwards. Doc indicated that nurse had injected me with the toxins that the test would be looking for. Great....... I'm not a doctor - obviously - but this does not make sense to me. Nurse comes back in, and does not mention her conversation with Doc at all.....
I go back on Wednesday to have the TB test location looked at. Instead of just running in - like GatorMan was allowed to do with HIS doctor - my Doc has scheduled an appointment to look at my arm, and go over my questionnaire. I'm going to be really curious as to what my arm is going to look like and what she is going to say. I may have to let her know that I overheard the entire conversation....
Oh. We also got fingerprinted today. Totally cool contraption... no ink involved.
* As a side note, I have been very restrained and careful to not go off on a complete rant about how crackheads, heroin injectors, child molesters, child abusers, welfare mamas, and "others" do NOT have to go through this process. They miraculously get kids. For free.
** Okay, I guess my side note is now moot. Couldn't resist.
*** After re-reading my post pre-publish, I realize my side notes make it sound like I'm not grateful for Ukulele. I am ABSOLUTELY grateful for her. But I still do not understand WHY some things happen the way they do. Not sure any of us get it.
UPDATE:
After reading a couple of comments, I realized that I was not very clear about who has ordered the homestudy. The homestudy has been ordered by the court. Because this was a closed and private adoption, we did not do a homestudy through an agency prior to placement.
Also, thanks to Murgdan for clearing up the whole shot/test confusion on my part.... and explaining to me what should have been explained by my own nurse! You rock - Murgdan - thanks again!
Part of the homestudy is for our primary care physicians to "sign off" on our health indicating that we are in fact healthy people - mentally and physically. GatorMan and I have different primary care docs, even though they are in the same practice. GatorMan's doc is pretty laid back and easygoing. Her answers to the questionnaire were basically "yes" and "no." My doc, on the other hand, is super detailed. She called last week and indicated that my file did not reflect that I had had a TB test in the last year, nor could she tell if I had a tetanus/pertussis (sp?) shot in the last ten years. She wanted me to do this before she filled out the questionnaire. And no, the questionnaire does NOT indicate that I need these shots/tests.
Today was the appointment for the shot/test. I go in, and the nurse explains that she is going to give me the shot first. After the shot, she gives me the TB test - which stung by the way. I'd rather jab myself in the stomach with another foll.istim pen than do this test again. After the nurse finished, she went to talk to the doc about a question I had asked. Doc was right outside of the exam room door, and I heard the entire conversation. Apparently Doc had indicated that she wanted the TB test done FIRST.... then the shot. Nurse did it backwards. Doc indicated that nurse had injected me with the toxins that the test would be looking for. Great....... I'm not a doctor - obviously - but this does not make sense to me. Nurse comes back in, and does not mention her conversation with Doc at all.....
I go back on Wednesday to have the TB test location looked at. Instead of just running in - like GatorMan was allowed to do with HIS doctor - my Doc has scheduled an appointment to look at my arm, and go over my questionnaire. I'm going to be really curious as to what my arm is going to look like and what she is going to say. I may have to let her know that I overheard the entire conversation....
Oh. We also got fingerprinted today. Totally cool contraption... no ink involved.
* As a side note, I have been very restrained and careful to not go off on a complete rant about how crackheads, heroin injectors, child molesters, child abusers, welfare mamas, and "others" do NOT have to go through this process. They miraculously get kids. For free.
** Okay, I guess my side note is now moot. Couldn't resist.
*** After re-reading my post pre-publish, I realize my side notes make it sound like I'm not grateful for Ukulele. I am ABSOLUTELY grateful for her. But I still do not understand WHY some things happen the way they do. Not sure any of us get it.
UPDATE:
After reading a couple of comments, I realized that I was not very clear about who has ordered the homestudy. The homestudy has been ordered by the court. Because this was a closed and private adoption, we did not do a homestudy through an agency prior to placement.
Also, thanks to Murgdan for clearing up the whole shot/test confusion on my part.... and explaining to me what should have been explained by my own nurse! You rock - Murgdan - thanks again!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
It Is Starting.....
"Now that you have adopted, you'll have a baby of your own."
Listen, Jackass, Ukulele is our own.
That whole uneducated comment is not helped by the fact that in the building in which I work, two other women were diagnosed infertile, adopted, and immediately got pregnant thereafter. (I do know one of them had some fairly major cyst issues... not sure what the other one's story was. I also do not know if there was male factor involved or not with either one.)
Everytime someone says the above statement to me, I point out that Ukulele is a *real* child who is our *own*, and that less than 5% of infertiles who adopt become pregnant afterwards. That usually shuts them up.
Listen, Jackass, Ukulele is our own.
That whole uneducated comment is not helped by the fact that in the building in which I work, two other women were diagnosed infertile, adopted, and immediately got pregnant thereafter. (I do know one of them had some fairly major cyst issues... not sure what the other one's story was. I also do not know if there was male factor involved or not with either one.)
Everytime someone says the above statement to me, I point out that Ukulele is a *real* child who is our *own*, and that less than 5% of infertiles who adopt become pregnant afterwards. That usually shuts them up.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Thoughts on "Adopt.ion is a Fam.ily Affair"
Wow... it's been an entire week since my last post. I'm so sorry - I really have meant to write more, but I honestly do not know where all the time goes during the day. Seven pounds of squishy-adorable can really suck the time away!
So... I am going to review a book that I really liked. My guess is that people either love it or hate it. The book is "Adopt.ion is a Fam.ily Affair" by Patricia Ir.win John.ston. I had read on a blog somewhere that the adoptive family bought this book for every member in their extended family. I was curious, so I ordered off of Ama.zon (because Barnes and Noble severely lacks adoption books in my town).
The book is very thin and a quick read. The book spends a lot of time discussing fears that family members may have when an adoption occurs, such as: race, disability, open adoption, cost, wait, and many other topics. It more importantly discusses thing that should NOT be said to the parents.* Some chapters you'll be able to skim right over because they will not apply to your particular situation, while other chapters you'll want to photocopy and mail out to everyone you know.
Overall, I thought this book was very good for my family inparticular because we have not dealt with an adoptive situation on my side. GatorMan's family has - but they still got a copy! Along with this book we sent a "Family Letter" indicating how we got to this point (our families were not told about our fertility issues for a long time) and how we intend to raise and educate Ukulele in relation to her adoption. It was important for us to indicate to our families that WE will decide what she knows and when, and that we wholly expect them to abide by our wishes (although I do not think it will be a problem... just an "in case" clause of sorts). I find that anything that educates my family and friends about adoption is a plus, and I'll gladly get the information to them.
This book is also good for those thinking about adoption. It raises questions that your family members may have about the situation that you might not have considered. Adoption is a big change for everyone involved, and this book attempts to serve as a guide through some of the potential problem areas.
* I'll write a post later this week on the topic of what has already been said to us as adoptive parents to Ukulele.....
So... I am going to review a book that I really liked. My guess is that people either love it or hate it. The book is "Adopt.ion is a Fam.ily Affair" by Patricia Ir.win John.ston. I had read on a blog somewhere that the adoptive family bought this book for every member in their extended family. I was curious, so I ordered off of Ama.zon (because Barnes and Noble severely lacks adoption books in my town).
The book is very thin and a quick read. The book spends a lot of time discussing fears that family members may have when an adoption occurs, such as: race, disability, open adoption, cost, wait, and many other topics. It more importantly discusses thing that should NOT be said to the parents.* Some chapters you'll be able to skim right over because they will not apply to your particular situation, while other chapters you'll want to photocopy and mail out to everyone you know.
Overall, I thought this book was very good for my family inparticular because we have not dealt with an adoptive situation on my side. GatorMan's family has - but they still got a copy! Along with this book we sent a "Family Letter" indicating how we got to this point (our families were not told about our fertility issues for a long time) and how we intend to raise and educate Ukulele in relation to her adoption. It was important for us to indicate to our families that WE will decide what she knows and when, and that we wholly expect them to abide by our wishes (although I do not think it will be a problem... just an "in case" clause of sorts). I find that anything that educates my family and friends about adoption is a plus, and I'll gladly get the information to them.
This book is also good for those thinking about adoption. It raises questions that your family members may have about the situation that you might not have considered. Adoption is a big change for everyone involved, and this book attempts to serve as a guide through some of the potential problem areas.
* I'll write a post later this week on the topic of what has already been said to us as adoptive parents to Ukulele.....
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Baby Help Videos
We have received two videos regarding the behaviors of babies that we have found to be immensely helpful.
(1) Dun.stan Ba.by Lang.uage
This video basically states that there are 5 different cries/sounds that newborns make. It teaches you how to listen and distinguish between those sounds to determine what it is your baby wants.
Gotta tell ya, we LOVED this video. Yeah, the woman is kinda weird when you watch it, but what she says is true. We have applied these principles to Ukulele, and damned if they didn't work! It has helped us distinguish whether she is hungry, tired, needs burped, or whatever. This video is only good for the first few months - so get it early. We received it before Ukulele was born, so we were prepared when she got here. We were able to apply the principles immediately, and saw immediate results. If you check the some of the negative comments on Ama.zon about this video, we personally believe those people did not make a valiant attempt at deciphering the cries and instead wanted to "have it down" instantly. This will not work - it takes a little bit of time to decipher the different cries because they DO sound similar until you get used to it. Keep trying - you WILL get it!
(2) The Hap.piest Baby on the Bl.ock
This video teaches you the 5 S's to calming your baby. It is taught by a pediatrician who applies the principles on the video and shows you how to do them.
Again, we LOVE this video! It indicates that each baby has a *calming* button, and it teaches you how to activate it. We received this video a couple of days after Ukulele arrived home but we did not watch it at that point. Tonight, however, she seemed inconsolable, so we put it in. We applied the techniques - and she IMMEDIATELY calmed down! She has now been snoozing in her bouncy-seat for almost two hours (it's 9:51 eastern time) and she has been awake and fussy since approximately 1:00 this afternoon. Watch this one NOW if you have it and have been putting it off. If you do not have it - go get it. *One thing we did not like.... it does not really address formula fed babies in the Q&A and instead talks a lot about breast-fed babies... which obviously does not apply to most adoptive parents. Overall, however, this does not really matter in the application of the techniques.
*****
As adoptive parents, we have been reading pretty much everything we can get our hands on trying to get a grasp of how to handle a newborn. Both of the above videos were worth more than their purchase price.
If we come across something we find particularly helpful in the adoptive-parent-front, we will try and post our personal review of it and how it helped us or was a waste of time.
(1) Dun.stan Ba.by Lang.uage
This video basically states that there are 5 different cries/sounds that newborns make. It teaches you how to listen and distinguish between those sounds to determine what it is your baby wants.
Gotta tell ya, we LOVED this video. Yeah, the woman is kinda weird when you watch it, but what she says is true. We have applied these principles to Ukulele, and damned if they didn't work! It has helped us distinguish whether she is hungry, tired, needs burped, or whatever. This video is only good for the first few months - so get it early. We received it before Ukulele was born, so we were prepared when she got here. We were able to apply the principles immediately, and saw immediate results. If you check the some of the negative comments on Ama.zon about this video, we personally believe those people did not make a valiant attempt at deciphering the cries and instead wanted to "have it down" instantly. This will not work - it takes a little bit of time to decipher the different cries because they DO sound similar until you get used to it. Keep trying - you WILL get it!
(2) The Hap.piest Baby on the Bl.ock
This video teaches you the 5 S's to calming your baby. It is taught by a pediatrician who applies the principles on the video and shows you how to do them.
Again, we LOVE this video! It indicates that each baby has a *calming* button, and it teaches you how to activate it. We received this video a couple of days after Ukulele arrived home but we did not watch it at that point. Tonight, however, she seemed inconsolable, so we put it in. We applied the techniques - and she IMMEDIATELY calmed down! She has now been snoozing in her bouncy-seat for almost two hours (it's 9:51 eastern time) and she has been awake and fussy since approximately 1:00 this afternoon. Watch this one NOW if you have it and have been putting it off. If you do not have it - go get it. *One thing we did not like.... it does not really address formula fed babies in the Q&A and instead talks a lot about breast-fed babies... which obviously does not apply to most adoptive parents. Overall, however, this does not really matter in the application of the techniques.
*****
As adoptive parents, we have been reading pretty much everything we can get our hands on trying to get a grasp of how to handle a newborn. Both of the above videos were worth more than their purchase price.
If we come across something we find particularly helpful in the adoptive-parent-front, we will try and post our personal review of it and how it helped us or was a waste of time.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Photo Blog
We have started our photo blog of Ukulele finally. If you would like an invitation, please email me at samiam1117 at gmail dot com.
Rules on the new blog: PLEASE DO NOT REFERENCE THIS BLOG ON THE PHOTO BLOG! There are people who will have access to the photo blog that do not know about this blog. Furthermore, please do not refer to Ukulele by "Ukulele" in the new blog - I do not want to explain that name to other people and then have them "stumble" across my precious little corner over here. When you get to the photo blog, you'll learn Ukulele's real name so please feel free to use it over there (but not here...).
I am sure that you all appreciate the comfort of anonymity from various people in the safe haven of the blogosphere, so I thank you in advance for understanding!
Rules on the new blog: PLEASE DO NOT REFERENCE THIS BLOG ON THE PHOTO BLOG! There are people who will have access to the photo blog that do not know about this blog. Furthermore, please do not refer to Ukulele by "Ukulele" in the new blog - I do not want to explain that name to other people and then have them "stumble" across my precious little corner over here. When you get to the photo blog, you'll learn Ukulele's real name so please feel free to use it over there (but not here...).
I am sure that you all appreciate the comfort of anonymity from various people in the safe haven of the blogosphere, so I thank you in advance for understanding!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Mouse in the Ukulele?
Ok, I know I'm new at this whole mom thing... but I think a mouse has taken up residence inside of my little Ukulele. That girl SQUEAKS! And not only does she squeak, she grunts. ALL THE TIME. So much so that it freaked my friend out who claims her one-year-old son never made those noises.
Is this normal? I have not checked with the all-knowing-go.ogle yet because I knew the bloggers would have better information.
Oh - an adoption related note - I'm starting to get the comment that I look fantastic for having a three-week-old. My response? "Thanks!" Let them think I have a personal trainer whose whipping me into shape while my nanny takes care of my newborn. I mean, hey, don't we all have the means to be that way like the Hollywood Tartlets?
Is this normal? I have not checked with the all-knowing-go.ogle yet because I knew the bloggers would have better information.
Oh - an adoption related note - I'm starting to get the comment that I look fantastic for having a three-week-old. My response? "Thanks!" Let them think I have a personal trainer whose whipping me into shape while my nanny takes care of my newborn. I mean, hey, don't we all have the means to be that way like the Hollywood Tartlets?
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Definition of "Projectile"
"Projectile" to a person without kids can mean a number of things.... to GatorMan and I it meant holding our cat up in the air and using her as an airplane. Or it was the Screaming Monkey from woot dot com that would fly through the air when you pulled it's legs. Among other things it meant the paper on a straw that you blow off making it fly across the table.
Today, "projectile" means the vomit that FLEW out of Ukulele's mouth, across my legs, part of the couch, and on to the floor.
Who knew that parenthood would come with alternate word definitions!
Today, "projectile" means the vomit that FLEW out of Ukulele's mouth, across my legs, part of the couch, and on to the floor.
Who knew that parenthood would come with alternate word definitions!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Timing of Announcements
Quick question for those of you who have travelled this road before:
When should we send out Ukulele's birth announcements?
Should we wait until after the adoption is finalized (mid February)? Should we go ahead and send now since FirstMom's revocation rights have expired?
Most adoption announcements I have seen have two to three dates on them: (1) birth date; (2) *permanently* joined family date; and sometimes (3) came to the family date. We have (1) and (3), but (2)'s date is not definite yet.
Also, I'm open for suggestions on affordable announcement sites.... most sites I have found charge between $1.65 to $2.50 per announcement. That adds up quickly when you intend on sending out over 100 announcements!
When should we send out Ukulele's birth announcements?
Should we wait until after the adoption is finalized (mid February)? Should we go ahead and send now since FirstMom's revocation rights have expired?
Most adoption announcements I have seen have two to three dates on them: (1) birth date; (2) *permanently* joined family date; and sometimes (3) came to the family date. We have (1) and (3), but (2)'s date is not definite yet.
Also, I'm open for suggestions on affordable announcement sites.... most sites I have found charge between $1.65 to $2.50 per announcement. That adds up quickly when you intend on sending out over 100 announcements!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Welcome 2009!
Dear 2009 - glad you are finally here.
Tonight as I read through my bloglist, I noticed that almost all of my blog-friends had a fairly shitty 2008. We did, too.... for the most part. It always seemed like just when things could not get any worse, they did. One grandparent dies... then the next. The market drops.... and then drops further. Someone's interested in your house.... then they don't want it. Your RE cuts you off. You're told you can only use donor eggs. Your 93-year-old grandmother falls and breaks her hip. One thing after another.
Then something good happens. It always does. Because just as things get as bad as they can possibly get, they will ALWAYS get better -- they have to. Maybe you beat the parking-meter-troll to your car; maybe you find $10 in a coat; maybe you get a raise; maybe you get published; maybe you laugh so hard you cry; and maybe - just maybe - you become a parent.
I'm so glad OUR becoming parents came at the end of 2008. Because frankly, 2008 sucked. Big time. Ukulele has erased all that hurt, all that disappointment, all that nothingness.
So 2009 - we welcome you with open arms. We welcome a new President. We welcome a stronger market. We welcome new friends. We welcome new opportunities. And, we welcome our new daughter.
And on behalf of all of our blogfriends - we welcome you, 2009, and encourage you to be a lot nicer to everyone than 2008 was.
Tonight as I read through my bloglist, I noticed that almost all of my blog-friends had a fairly shitty 2008. We did, too.... for the most part. It always seemed like just when things could not get any worse, they did. One grandparent dies... then the next. The market drops.... and then drops further. Someone's interested in your house.... then they don't want it. Your RE cuts you off. You're told you can only use donor eggs. Your 93-year-old grandmother falls and breaks her hip. One thing after another.
Then something good happens. It always does. Because just as things get as bad as they can possibly get, they will ALWAYS get better -- they have to. Maybe you beat the parking-meter-troll to your car; maybe you find $10 in a coat; maybe you get a raise; maybe you get published; maybe you laugh so hard you cry; and maybe - just maybe - you become a parent.
I'm so glad OUR becoming parents came at the end of 2008. Because frankly, 2008 sucked. Big time. Ukulele has erased all that hurt, all that disappointment, all that nothingness.
So 2009 - we welcome you with open arms. We welcome a new President. We welcome a stronger market. We welcome new friends. We welcome new opportunities. And, we welcome our new daughter.
And on behalf of all of our blogfriends - we welcome you, 2009, and encourage you to be a lot nicer to everyone than 2008 was.
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