New Huggies commercial:
You can win Huggies for a year if you do the following:
"Unite male chromosones with a female egg. Once fertilized you must retain a radiant glow for about nine months, after morning sickness. Frequent emotional mood swings are optional. You are required to put up with people touching your belly morning, noon and night. After being rushed to the hospital you must experience....a miracle".
Seriously? Thank God I only buy Pampers. Jackasses. Let me guess, adoptive parents cannot qualify because they do not get to experience the "miracle" of childbirth. I sense an ADA complaint being filed somewhere.
They'll probably deliver your diapers in that stupid Volkswagen that makes women want to procreate just so they can drive it.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
Dentist Drama
I have been going to the same dentist for approximately ten years now. L - O - V - E him! Love my dental hygienist, love the staff, location, everything. Never ever have I had a problem. Dr. Dainty-Drill has always been fantastic - and gentle. I'm one of those odd people who actually enjoys getting her teeth cleaned - and I do not fear the drill (should it occasionally be necessary).
Dr. Dainty-Drill has decided to retire. Who can blame him? I'd retire if I could. So he has brought in a young lad - whom we'll call Dr. Drill-Bit. Dr. Drill-Bit has been there for almost a year now. Great guy - easy to get along with - seems very thorough in his check-ups.
Well last Monday, at my regularly scheduled cleaning, two tiny cavities decided to appear. So my appointment was this morning to get that little indiscretion in my mouth taken care of. Dr. Drill-Bit did the honors.
I no likey anymore.
Dr. Drill-Bit is now going to be Dr. Drill-BITE. If he tries to stick any electrically powered instrument in my mouth, I will bite. He was so rough in pulling my cheek and mouth, that it is raw in the corner of my mouth. The Novocaine shot hurt so bad it made my eyes water (that's a first at the dentist - even though I am terrified of needles). My jaw hurts so bad right now I could barely chew my tuna-fish sandwich which was on soft white bread. (Notice the past tense of that sentence... I made do and painfully gobbled it down anyway.) I really would not be surprised if my jaw and/or cheek are not bruised later on today. And it's not like I have a small mouth that has very little room to work. There should be ample space in there.
I have never had such an uncomfortable experience at the dentist - even as a child.
So here's the quandary. I WILL get a cavity again in my life. That's just the way my mouth rolls. I still love the staff, hygienist, location, etc. And I still like Dr. Drill-Bite's personality and bedside manner. It's his execution that I take issue with. So when that cavity appears - do I go to another dentist? It's like going to a new hairdresser - you don't want to cheat because they ALWAYS know.
I think I am going to speak to my hygienist (whom I'm friends with) and let her know what's going on. Maybe I'm not the first to complain. Maybe I am. Oh such a slippery slope. I really do not want to go to a new dentist. And another fear? If Dr. Drill-Bite really is that rough, there is no way in *bleep* that I am going to send Ukulele there. Fuhgetaboutit.
What would you do?
Dr. Dainty-Drill has decided to retire. Who can blame him? I'd retire if I could. So he has brought in a young lad - whom we'll call Dr. Drill-Bit. Dr. Drill-Bit has been there for almost a year now. Great guy - easy to get along with - seems very thorough in his check-ups.
Well last Monday, at my regularly scheduled cleaning, two tiny cavities decided to appear. So my appointment was this morning to get that little indiscretion in my mouth taken care of. Dr. Drill-Bit did the honors.
I no likey anymore.
Dr. Drill-Bit is now going to be Dr. Drill-BITE. If he tries to stick any electrically powered instrument in my mouth, I will bite. He was so rough in pulling my cheek and mouth, that it is raw in the corner of my mouth. The Novocaine shot hurt so bad it made my eyes water (that's a first at the dentist - even though I am terrified of needles). My jaw hurts so bad right now I could barely chew my tuna-fish sandwich which was on soft white bread. (Notice the past tense of that sentence... I made do and painfully gobbled it down anyway.) I really would not be surprised if my jaw and/or cheek are not bruised later on today. And it's not like I have a small mouth that has very little room to work. There should be ample space in there.
I have never had such an uncomfortable experience at the dentist - even as a child.
So here's the quandary. I WILL get a cavity again in my life. That's just the way my mouth rolls. I still love the staff, hygienist, location, etc. And I still like Dr. Drill-Bite's personality and bedside manner. It's his execution that I take issue with. So when that cavity appears - do I go to another dentist? It's like going to a new hairdresser - you don't want to cheat because they ALWAYS know.
I think I am going to speak to my hygienist (whom I'm friends with) and let her know what's going on. Maybe I'm not the first to complain. Maybe I am. Oh such a slippery slope. I really do not want to go to a new dentist. And another fear? If Dr. Drill-Bite really is that rough, there is no way in *bleep* that I am going to send Ukulele there. Fuhgetaboutit.
What would you do?
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