Anticipated Absence.... ???

I had to do it. I couldn't wait any longer. I finally caved. I am hanging on to the bandwagon's bumper by my fingernails being dragged through the gravel....

I bought Twilight. And I am going to start reading it. Tonight.

So if I am gone from the blogging world for awhile... you know where to find me...

How to Announce?

On the drive home today, I was trying to decide how we are going to announce to the world (or at least our little corner of it) that we had become parents overnight. No one saw a pregnancy. No one was told about the adoption - by our choice. In fact, I've been telling everyone that we are going to start the adoption process full swing after the first of the year. And it's not really a lie, really, just kind of just a stretch of the truth. The actual *adoption* will start full swing in January... just not in the same way most people perceive *starting*....

Anyway, I get home, and it appears that Elle of Baby Bunts dreamt about a predicament like mine and she discussed it in her post today. She had a dream that they became parents through a surrogate and she did not know how she was going to explain to people how it happened. In her dream, they did not tell people that they were using a surrogate.... so two babies were going to be quite a surprise to everyone.

That's where we are.

Not two babies via a surrogate - just one through private adoption - but the same concern. No one outside of our immediate circle knows what is going on. In January, I am going to all of a sudden be "sick" for about two weeks, and then after that we are going to present our baby. (Now that I think of it, I might have to come up with another reason for being gone.... someone who is sick for two weeks ought to be admitted to a hospital.... anyway, I digress....) Although everyone will be happy for us, I am sure there are going to be hurt feelings from those who felt they should have been told prior to the rest of the world.

So my question to all of you who have adopted, did everyone know what was going on? Or did you keep it confidential until the revocation period was over? And when you did share your news, how did you do it?

Flu Shot???

I originally was not going to get a flu shot this winter. However, I recall the last time I had the flu. It was while GatorMan and I were just dating, and we had gone to visit his friends for New Years. I became horribly sick, and so did he. We ended up staying three days in a hotel room absolutely miserable. The next couple of years I got a flu shot. This year, however, I thought about skipping it. They hurt and make my arm sore.

I got to thinking about January, and Ukulele. And then I reflected on how horrible I felt years ago on New Years. I ended up getting the shot on Thursday after realizing that there was no way I would be able to adequately take care of a newborn if I got the flu.

This morning, however, I was very sick. No fever.... but still very sick. I still feel horrible. I'm hoping the flu shot did not give me the flu.

Revocation Period

I really wanted to wait until this evening to do my post, but I just finished reading Production, Not Reproduction's post on the waiting period - and I could no longer wait. First of all, if you are adopting, please go read her post, it is very insightful. Also read the comments, there are some very good ones.

Where we live, our revocation period is ten days from the date the revocation papers are signed. I know that will be the longest ten days of my life up to that point. Just typing this is making my heart race and my eyes sting with tears. You see, that ten-day-wait is the part that scares me the most. Although Ukulele has not been born yet, I already love her. And I have been trying SO HARD to not get attached to that baby because I know Juno can change her mind, and it would be her right to do that, to which we would have no recourse whatsoever. (I just now got up and closed my office door because I am crying thinking of that scenario.) A potential adoptive parent cannot help but become attached to the child that they hope to parent - and face it, before the revocation period ends, *hope to parent* is all we get to have. While the ten-day-wait will be wrought with anxiety, stress, and (most likely) worse-case-scenario nightmares -- it will also be filled with excitement, joy, love, and learning. It really is the proverbial double-edged sword. There is no way we - or any other adoptive parent(s) - would hold back even an ounce of love for that child on the fear that the child could be ripped from their arms (and their hearts) at any moment. But yet, as a *hope to* parent, how do you prepare for that child? How do you get through each day of the revocation period - relishing in every minute detail of your child from physical traits to emotional traits to even just the smell - without losing your mind in the "what if" abyss?

Okay, I need to stop focusing on that aspect.... although it is always the ugly dirtball in the back of my hope-filled mind....

We did get an update on Juno and Ukulele today. Nothing new! Which is fantastic news! We are still 100% a "go" and everyone is healthy.

Now, a practical question (because I refuse to believe the worst despite all I wrote above).... how do I keep Molly-cat out of Ukulele's crib once she is here? We are going to go ahead and get Ukulele some proper sleeping quarters (since she would most likely grow out of the dresser drawer in about a week) prior to her arrival. But that's it - nothing else is going to be bought. The reasoning is that we need to teach the cat to stay out of the crib. I have read that you can put double-sided tape on cardboard and stick that in the crib before the baby arrives. The cat will jump in, freak out on the tape, jump out, and then repeat the process until it learns that the crib is an undesirable place. If anyone else has any suggestions, we would really appreciate them!

My Bucket List

This has turned out to be a week of lists for me! Heavy Heart tagged me to do a bucket list of things I would like to do before I die. I'm not sure what the rules are, but she listed ten things, so I will as well.

My Bucket List
1. Publish novel.
2. Vacation in Napa Valley.
3. Tour Italy.
4. Learn French.
5. Help our (yet unborn) child(ren) understand and appreciate 80's music.
6. Perform in a major motion picture.
7. Have enough money to live very comfortably.
8. Own a house on the water.
9. Pay for our child(ren) to attend college.
10. Learn to like exercising.

I'm not sure how many people I am supposed to tag, so I am just going to pick three: Mo, Murgdan, and Erin.

(As a side note, no updates on Juno or Ukulele yet. I'm hoping for some tomorrow evening.....
Also, day one into my List of Thirty-Eight has started well - I made my bed this morning - yay me!!)

The List of Thirty-Eight

Happy Birthday to Me,
Happy Birthday to Me,
My Mom says I'm thirty--eight,
But my eggs think they're fifty-three.

Yes, today is my birthday. My thirty-eighth birthday. I remember in college when I thought thirty-eight was O.L.D. Speaking of college, I had a sorority sister who would receive roses every year on her birthday from her father. When she was eighteen, she received eighteen roses; on her nineteenth birthday, nineteen roses; and so on. He had done this for her from her very first birthday. I love the significance and tradition on that.

So, on this, my thirty-eighth birthday, I am starting my own personal tradition. Every year I will have a list of things I will accomplish before my next birthday. Because I am thirty-eight this year, I will have the List of Thirty-Eight. Next year will be the List of Thirty-Nine, etc. There really are no *rules* for the list except that I have to be able to personally accomplish the items.... I cannot rely on someone else to accomplish an item for me. The items have to be under my control. Also, they have to be able to be accomplished before the next birth date. As I accomplish each task, I will come back to this post and cross a line through that item. Some items may seem trivial, but they were important enough to me to put on my list. You have a criticism? Keep it to yourself and go make your own list!

So, with much fanfare, here it is (and in no particular order):

List of Thirty-Eight
1. Drink at least 48 ounces of water every day.
2. Lose 40 pounds. (Lost 12 so far...)
3. Go to my 20 year high school reunion.
4. Write 38 handwritten (i.e. snail-mail) letters to friends/family.
5. Get rid of 5 oldest cases on my pending-motions docket. (Cases remaining: 4 )
6. Go horseback riding.
7. Go roller-skating.
8. Move into house with at least 3 bedrooms and 2 baths.
9. Pay off car.
10. Complete three 5ks (running, not walking). (5ks completed: 0 )
11. Clean out file cabinet at home.
12. Read at least 26 books.*
13. Make bed every day.
14. Pay off Amex.
15. Fix hole in bedroom wall.
16. Resign from board.
17. Write at least 10 more chapters in my book.
18. Get a mammogram.
19. Get rid of at least 10 handbags.
20. Do a tryptic painting.
21. Clean out trunk of car.
22. Donate $$ to undergraduate school.
23. Donate $$ to law school.
24. Write in blog at least once per week.
25. Sand spot on living room wall.
26. Try mushrooms (again).
27. Return file to old firm.
28. Find church to regularly attend.
29. Visit grandmother.
30. Frame paintings in storage.
31. *(Private item for GatorMan) ;)
32. Convert Julius Jones jersey to current Cowboy player.
33. Walk Matty-Dog every day.
34. Be less catty.
35. Clean out file cabinet at work.
36. Do a vision board.
37. Make "The List of Thirty-Nine."
38. Become a mom.

There it is. If I do not complete an item, it will be added to next year's list. Number 38 is obviously the most important to me.... that's the one I'm really working on....

* Books read:
(1) Twi.light by Steph.enie Me.yer (11/26/2008)
(2) New Mo.on by Steph.enie Me.yer (11/27/2008)
(3) Eclipse by Steph.enie Me.yer (11/29/2008)
(4) Break.ing Dawn by Steph.enie Me.yer (11/30/2008)
Mid.night Sun (draft) by Steph.enie Me.yer (12/2/2008)
(5) The Attach.ment Parent.ing Book by Wil.liam Sea.rs, MD (12/11/2008)
(6) Dear Birth.mother by Sil.ber & Speed.lin (12/14/2008)

Whatever Stuff

Where did the last couple of days go? I just realized my last post was Thursday. I had a fairly busy day on Friday -- hair appointment in late afternoon (a girl's gotta keep her hair magnificently coiffed!). Now that I think about it, Friday wasn't busy at all... just lazy. Saturday, however, WAS busy. It was our turn to host the Wine Club, so GatorMan and I spent all day cleaning and shopping. Wine Club was a success and many (many many many) bottles of tasty wine were consumed. However, that was not enough, so a group of us went to sing karaoke and drink beer. Hence, nasty hangover this morning.

Now I'm sitting on the couch watching NFL and realizing that my fantasy team will yet again have a losing season. Oh well.

My project for this evening, however, is to finish my List of Thirty-Eight. "What is that?" you ask? Tomorrow I turn 38. Damn I'm getting old. To celebrate the occasion, I am making a list of 38 things I want to accomplish before I turn 39. I have 33 things so far... the last 5 are giving me a problem. Tomorrow I will post my list and the impetus behind it.

Until then, I'm going to drink my caffeine, ponder a pizza order, and eat more headache medicine.