Doctors:
There are a handful of highly recommended pediatricians in my town, and a plethora of "avoid-at-all-costs" pediatricians. I've got to line up a pediatrician for Ukulele so that doctor can be present immediately after the delivery. I've tried to contact the most recommended one, and here is a crude transcript (based on my recollection) of the conversation:
Dr. Office: Good morning, Dr.'s Office.
Me: Good morning. I've got a peculiar situation. I am expecting to adopt a baby in January, and Dr. has come highly recommended. Will he be accepting new patients at that time?
Dr. Office: Well, I'm not sure. Dr. is the one that makes that decision. Let me get some information from you and I will pass it on to him for him to call you. Hold on, let me get to that screen.... Okay. When is the due date?
Me: January ___. At least that is what I have been told.
Dr. Office: Do you know the OB/GYN?
Me: No, it is a closed adoption.
Dr. Office: Okay, um... (I hear her hitting keys on the computer and mumbling under her breath "okay, can't ask that one.... nope.... nope....")
Me: I can tell you who referred me.
Dr. Office: Great, let's do that.
I still have not heard from Dr. Office. I was so disappointed by that particular conversational exchange that I have not had the strength to go through it again. I cannot answer the particulars that they are going to want to know. All I can do is tell them that I will call them when the baby is born. How am I supposed to get a doctor prior to that time?
Daycare:
In the town where I live, it is very difficult to get good daycare. Most parents put their not-yet-born child on a waiting list for the "good" places. For example, a friend of mine started looking at daycare facilities when she was three months pregnant. Her son is now 9 months old, and he's still on the waiting list. That kind of nonsense makes it almost impossible for someone in my situation to get good daycare prior to pre-school. (And school, by the way, is a whole lotta similar.) Am I supposed to go to the daycare facilities that we are interested in and say "Hi, I'm GreenEggsNHam. My husband and I are adopting. We are not exactly sure when the baby will be born, or if the birthmother will change her mind. So, just as a precaution, can we please have a spot on your list just in case?" How the hell are we supposed to handle all this? Are we required to keep calling the daycare facilities moving our "entrance" date back and back until we adopt? With someone who gives birth, they have a fairly certain idea of when the baby will arrive, and therefore, when daycare will be needed. GatorMan and I are lucky that we know the due date for Ukulele, but there is no guarantee that it is all going to happen in accordance with "our" plan.
I would really appreciate any advice if any of you have had to maneuver through similar situations.
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2 comments:
It must be so frustrating. I hope you can find a helpful doctor and good child care soon. Maybe you could contact an adoption agency or support group for adoptive parents for advice.
Find a Dr. that you like and just set up an appointment for consultation. That's what we did. Talk to him/her about the time frame that baby will be born and see how they would handle a visit on short notice(to the hospital). Most of them will work with you. Otherwise..set up an appointment with him/her (for baby) a couple days after the due date.. you can always cancel it if you don't need it. ~ We actually had the birthparents Dr. show up (while baby was still in hospital)for a visit shortly after the birth and she told us a little bit about the pregnancy and how baby did directly after birth. It was kind of nice. You could always ask that birthmothers Dr. does the same.
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