skip to main |
skip to sidebar
If anyone is still reading, and had a problem getting in to my blog, please accept my apology for the restricted access. I teach at a local college at night, and one of the assignments I gave my students was to internet stalk me. AFTER I had given the assignment I realized that I did not want them to find my blog and my personal life contained therein. Therefore I had to block it for awhile. I am fairly certain that enough time has passed that it should be safe to come out of hiding.
Speaking of coming out of hiding.... here is Ukulele at 18 months.
She has gotten so big, and so fast! She is in 2T clothes already, and is in the 95th percentile for height and weight. I'm guessing her firstdad must have been tall because I'm told firstmom is very petite.
GatorMan and I are jumping into the adoption pool again. We are hoping for a private adoption like we had with Ukulele. We've discussed using an agency, but have decided to try the private-route first.
Other than Ukulele growing like a weed, things have pretty much been the same as always... work, teaching, acting, and loving my role as Mom!
This weekend one of GatorMan's friends came to visit us (and go on a date with one of GatorMan's business friends). Friend is a really really great guy who drove here three hours - only to get stood up. As I was talking to Friend, explaining to him that he did not need to call No-Show, I told him not to settle for someone just to have someone. This got me thinking about my last serious relationship prior to GatorMan.I was dating a guy who wanted me to move in. I explained that I was not going to move in unless I was assured that the relationship was going to end up in marriage and children. He assured me it would. Over a year of living together later - no ring (which was a personal requirement for me prior to having a child). When I confronted him about our situation, he indicated he was not interested in having children. The next day I began househunting for a place of my own. Although I loved this guy - I was not willing to settle for something less than what I wanted and deserved.I look back at that time (I was much younger) and wonder "What if?" What if we had tried to have a child - would my body have cooperated? What if we DID have a child - would I still be with that guy? What if I would have settled, and waited (and waited). What if . . . . What if . . . . What if . . . . ?All of those "What ifs" add up to this: Nothing. IF any of those things would have happened, I would not have GatorMan. And if I did not have GatorMan, I probably would not have Ukulele. Life is great, despite its (sometimes) numerous setbacks. I really do believe in unanswered prayers. I have the two BEST unanswered prayers ever: GatorMan and Ukulele. IF my prayers had been answered way-back-when, I would not have met GatorMan. If I had not met GatorMan, I would not have traveled down the adoption road as soon as I did (adoption was always in the cards for me - biological child or not), and Ukulele would have had a different mom and dad.Whatever happened to Prior Guy? He got married. And is still childless. But as I was driving Ukulele to school today, I thought of him. And I thought of what I was like when I was with him. I was only half the person I am today ~ and he really missed out. Being a mother has made me a happier person, a BETTER person. So to you, Prior Guy: Thank You. Thank you for allowing me to find my true self. I couldn't have done it with you.
Yep, still here. Still loving life. Still loving Ukulele more than life itself. Not sure why I haven't blogged in like, well, forever. Wait, yes, I do know. I'm busy as hell. Full time job (thankfully!). Part-time teaching (two nights per week). Performing on a floating murder mystery cruise. Cleaning. Sewing. Sleeping (rarely). Book-reviewing. I'm wondering what else I can squeeze into the two free minutes I have every day. They musn't go to waste, you know.
Ukulele update: At her 15 month (!) check-up, she came in at the size of a two-year-old. Ninety-fifth percentile for height, ninetieth for weight. She's walking... almost running. Spinning in circles. Talking... although I'm not really sure what she is saying most of the time! She reads books out loud (in her own language) with the same cadence that we read to her in. She sings (again, in her own language). She laughs - constantly! Dancing? Check! Yes - I'm biased - but she really is the happiest baby I have ever met. Don't get me wrong, she has her growing pains like all toddlers. A wee-bit cranky when teething. Fussy eating sometimes. And her new thing? Slapping. Yeah, that cool personality trait showed up last night. It'll come to a screeching halt, that's for sure!
And I guess we can put it out there for the whole world..... we're on the adoption list again. Let the waiting begin.
What do all of these words have in common? They are synonymous with:G.LEE ! ! ! !
I really miss that show. I love it when a TV show makes me smile, laugh, and sometimes even cry. So tonight I downloaded the G.lee soundtrack. Holy crap! I truly feel sorry for those who have the unfortunate luck to end up in vehicles that surround mine at traffic lights for the next few weeks. Now don't get me wrong - I am quite the vocalist. In my own car. And in my own home. And occasionally at a karaoke bar. I sound pretty damn good if I do say so myself. (Just don't ask anyone else.... trust me.... well, you can ask Ukulele ~ she seems to like my singing!)Speaking of Ukulele, she's turning in to quite the musical (movie, tv, soundtrack) fan. I'm sure it has NOTHING to do with me always playing musicals or soundtracks with her present. She shows an early affinity for Mamm.a M.ia and Gre.ase 2. I have no doubt at all that she is going to LOVE this new soundtrack!On a less gleeful note, please keep two of our bloggy friends in your thoughts and prayers. Emily and E have both experienced failed adoption placements over the last couple of weeks. My heart breaks for them.
Happy Birthday to my precious, perfect, beautiful, blessing, Godsent daughter.One year ago today, we were sitting in the waiting room at the hospital waiting for updates on how Juno was and trying to control our racing hearts. It was on that date that our lives changed forever. Who knew our hearts could love one tiny little person so much that they would feel like they could burst? This little girl makes me smile so much - every single day. At night I still go in to her room and watch her sleep, with tears welling up in my eyes, and marvel at her beauty, her grace, and the realization that she is my daughter.She has changed and grown so much over the last year. She is becoming the girl she was meant to be - happy, loved, and full of life. She dances all the time. She laughs constantly. She grabs our faces with her perfect little hands and gives us kisses. She's so loving and kind, smart, curious, and she's our daughter.Thank you, Juno, for making what was probably the hardest decision I hope you'll ever have to make. And thank you, God, for choosing us to be Ukulele's parents.We are eternally grateful.
Yes, Fertil-ly is now a word.I just wasted the last hour reading the comments to another persons blog post. Another blog writer posted a question about handling motherhood and how you want your old life back. I scoured over 100 comments looking for one - JUST ONE - from a mother who cherished motherhood even half the time. What I found was over 100 comments from mothers who got pregnant "unexpectedly," or their pregnancy was "unplanned," or their pregnancy was "unwanted." Now, as a caveat, they do all appear to love their children - despite their role of motherhood. But I am appalled at how much these women bitched and totally did not appreciate the absolute miracle involved in being able to create a child.I wanted to post something so badly about the whole thing, but I was (and am) just too disgusted by it all.No need to look for the blog link on my sidebar. I've removed it. I seriously doubt my readers would be sympathic to these whining baby makers.If you'll excuse me, I need to go throw up. That blog has made me sick to my stomach.
On Tuesday I turned 39. On that day I was supposed to do my List of Thirty-Nine. If you recall, I did a List of Thirty-Eight last year, and one of the items was to do the next year's list. As you can tell, that didn't happen. GatorMan could tell, also. So, for my 39th birthday, he has been giving me things to help me complete some of the items on my list (a cork board for my vision board; a journal to start my List of Thirty Nine; three blank canvases for the tryptic painting).
I'm working on that list. I'm going to be more thoughtful about the items I put on it, and hopefully a little more realistic. The seemingly easier things (drinking water, making bed, walking dog) ended up being the hardest. This is definitely a work-in-progress. But after reviewing the List of Thirty-Eight, I think I did alright overall.
One thing I am going to try to work on a little more diligently is writing in the blog. (I obviously still need to change the header to reflect the new blog name....) I really do not have any excuse (except for lack of content inspiration) for not writing. I log in every single day to keep up with everyone else's goings-ons.
So here we go again. Hopefully the older I get, the wiser I will get.... and more disciplined!
